In His Time

***I sat down tonight intent on blogging...as sometimes it just takes a little determination. Immediately, the Pentecostals (building beside/below me) began worshiping...with tambourines. I'll try to write coherently.***

As you may have noticed, it's graduation season. It seems like several people I know are finishing their Master's. I was thinking about how it seemed so long ago that I was in grad school, and then I realized it has been 6 years since I graduated! I couldn't believe it. I worked so hard for it, racked up some debt, and finally finished only to be stressed about finding a job (sounds like times haven't changed so much, huh?). But, fortunately, I did find a good job....was good at it....enjoyed it...then decided to volunteer for a year. And (as ya'll know...stayed a little longer...)

Then, I talked to a few volunteers (those who came here right after college) who are considering what to do next and if they should go back to school. And though grad school is definitely NOT for everyone, I always tell them I have never regretted the time and money invested into it. And I don't. Even though it often seems I'm not even using my degree or practicing what I learned. But, you know, education is never a waste, and I'm thankful for it--for what that experience and time taught me--in AND outside the classroom.

But...sometimes, I remember that I got into a great school...earned good grades...studied...worked several jobs to get through..wrote many papers...spent hours at my unpaid internship...and then (finally!) got a job. And I see my friends anxiously and excitedly looking forward to getting through it and making more money or getting the job and/or life they want as a result. And I hope they do. I'm sure they will.

But, is that what it's about? Is using my degree to get a good job what it's all about? Am I wasting it? Should I be a little upset about my monthly loan payment when my job didn't require it and I certainly don't get paid for it? Nah....in fact, in many ways I feel like I stepped outside of that box a little. I get to define "success" a little differently. I'm glad that I escaped that feeling I had around the time I graduated from college...do you remember? That feeling that I had to find a good job or go to grad school...as quickly as possible...that in order to be happy and have a "good" life, I needed to do those things, so I could afford nice things, build up savings, so I could afford to get married and have a family after that....so much pressure, you know, for things to go according to plan...it felt like we all had to keep up with each other. And we had to get all this done before time ran out (and I guess you got old or had kids or something)...

And though I think we should all strive to BE better every day and set goals for our lives (you all know I'm quite a planner)....I don't feel that pressure to have it measured in the same way that I used to. God never promised that I'd be rich, and He didn't even promise I'd be happy or that life would always feel good. So, I'm trying to stop rushing to get it all in...hurry up and "be successful"...find a husband....build up "x" amount of money in savings...etc., etc. How about I just live?...not passively, but with purpose and belonging (and sometimes plans!)....because this is what God has for me right now...in this place...in this moment.

(And for some reason this little chorus I used to sing when I was like 5 popped into my head..."In His Time." Such a great little song!)

Thank you to my sweet friend(s) who reminded me of this lesson today....

***hmmm, after reading this, I may have been listening a little too much to the preaching downstairs!***